'The Saddleworth Constable' will premiere in early Autumn 2026
SYNOPSIS
"Sandy is an artist who has fallen out of love with art but more specifically, her own.
Steve is the retired local policeman who has recently discovered art having fallen out of love with life.
When Sandy returns to her Saddleworth roots, she has no plans other than to get some respite from her fast-paced life. To make space and certainly not to make connections.
But a slow-paced life can sometimes be just as challenging. Because when you slow it down, the blurs are soon replaced with the sharply focussed reality of the life that’s been passing you by.
In returning to her roots, Sandy discovers hiding within the blurs, a sardonic, eccentric, but deeply private man who does not appreciate what he has to offer to the world and her. And in stumbling across each other they also rediscover two things we all need: a passion and a purpose.
‘The Saddleworth Constable’ is a simple, lighthearted story about rediscovering the life you need, the love you deserve and the home you never lost ... and leaving well alone which county you’re in. Oh, and cheese and onion crisps.”
Approximate running time: Act 1: 50 minutes. Act 2: 55 minutes
Setting: Present day, Saddleworth.
To find out more about this play, use the 'Contact' page.
Staging: Ostensibly, one set. A large kitchen (dated) fitted out as such in a rambling, old country house. Two entrances (an internal and an external door). Large table dominates the centre but the space needs to be able to be used around it. At times it is used for the art group so requires the space for four easels/stools (say) around the table. Two other scenes: an art exhibition which is simply an easel set away from the main playing area/picked out using lighting. The other is a pub, which is just a table and two chairs. Maybe one area D/L and the other D/R. There are no special requirements for lighting (other than zoning the specific playing areas) and no requirements for sound other than a doorbell and mobile phone (NB: see prop’s list at the end).
Cast: 1M, 5F. Playing ages are very flexible. Accents all local/northern.
Sandy: 50’s. Well spoken with more than a nod to her roots. Born in Saddleworth but rarely returns. Anne’s daughter. Whatever history they did have is not explored within the plot. Art expert, now living in Paris. Very rarely comes home. Has had quite a public profile but it became too much and she avoids the public and the limelight. Consequently, protects her privacy and can be guarded which colours her character. Strong, intelligent, business like. A loner and difficult to get to know. Not looking for love but warms to Steve as the plot develops and opens up to him.
Steve: 50’s. Retired local policeman. Straight talking, sarcastic but good humoured. Immersed in his roots. Close to Anne and her friend of many years. He is a loner and has recently joined the local art group. His history is not explored or revealed other than being very private. As with Sandy, he is difficult to get to know but he opens up to her. They are very different and yet have a synergy. Attracted from the off and which develops.
Anne: 70’s. Sandy’s mother. Retired, friendly, open. Close to Steve whom she has introduced to painting and brought into the art group which she runs. Has had a difficult relationship over the years with her daughter, but has been supportive and positive towards her. Whatever history they did have is not explored within the plot but alluded to.
Rachel/Sharon/Karen: 30’s/50’s. All three women are friends of Anne and Steve and members of the art group. Larger than life characters, full of fun and humour. They are protective of Steve and enjoy having fun at his expense and each others. All are equal in role size and collectively feature together in both acts.
Adaptation
This play was written to make it easily adapted for any place. There are basically four aspects of the script which need to be looked at to make the play applicable to another locale.
Title: This is the most obvious one! ‘The Saddleworth Constable’ might become (for example) ‘The Cotswolds Constable.’ In programmes and publicity, it would therefore be referenced as:
‘The Cotswold Constable’
(from the original play ‘The Saddleworth Constable’)
by Martin Paul Roche
Place names: when updating place names, bear in mind that this play needs to be kept local and any towns/villages need to be within close proximity to each other. Examples of the places within the script which will need updating are obvious: Saddleworth, Dobcross, Delph, Oldham, Greater Manchester, Historic County Palatine of Yorkshire West Riding, West Yorkshire/Yorkshire etc.
Terminology: words such as ‘village’ and ‘canal’ might need to be looked at and are easily replaced with something more appropriate such as 'town' and 'park.' Similarly, ‘high street.’
Vernacular: This needs very careful consideration. ‘Mushy Peas’, ‘Tripe’, ‘Ta ra’, ‘Chuck’, ‘Chuffin’ hell.’ There are quite a few of these and the more locally specific they are, the greater the audience will associate with them. All I’d say is, don’t change things for the sake of it. If it isn’t broke, it doesn’t need fixing.
NB: the suggested adaptations are the only changes which are permitted. The dialogue and characters must not be altered, added to or edited in any other way.
The painting shown is an original photograph of Dovestones and altered using AI to be in the style of John Constable. Scary!
Artwork by Victoria Mironenko.