Synopsis: Norman and Delilah have found each other on a dating website and are meeting at a rented apartment. They are virgins in every aspect of the etiquette of life; in conversation, dating, relationships and naturally, AirBnB.

This is their first meeting. Their first everything in fact. Might awkwardness and naivety go some way to excusing their embarrassment? Allow them to find a common ground, even a glimmer of hope of something more? And how do they know what to hope for, if it’s something they’ve never had? 

But Norman and Delilah will be fine. After all, Norman has brought Garibaldi biscuits and Delilah has brought handcuffs. What’s more, she has also taken precautions. She has kept the receipt. And that can only mean one thing. Norman can keep his hat on.

Casting: (1M, 1F) (Both need to be a similar age)

Norman: late 20’s - 40’s. Quite timid, plain, the epitome of ordinary. Eccentric. Socially awkward and as boring as sin. This couldn’t be more alien to him. He wants a woman. He wants Delilah. If only he knew what to do with her.

Delilah: late 20’s - 40’s. Straight-laced, naive, but has more about her than Norman. Socially awkward but her pent up frustration and yearning for passion is never far from the surface! She wants Norman and knows exactly what she’s going to do with him.

Both are self-conscious but equally, genuine, sincere, painfully honest, transparent, desperate for love and sexually frustrated! I can hear them with either very broad/local accents or equally, very well spoken. I could also see Delilah played as a Trans woman. Now there’s a thought ...

Wardrobe: Norman wears an overcoat, flat cap and scarf. Beneath it, a very garish Hawaiian shirt. Delilah is wearing a coat, but beneath it, is dressed provocatively.

Use & Staging: Present day. Any location. A single set. A suburban lounge in an apartment block (AirBnB).  The practicalities of staging necessitate a door as an entrance/exit and a furnished space with a sofa and an armchair as a minimum. A window would be useful, but not essential. The set could will easily double for two of my other plays allowing for ease of pairing and to make one complete evening. (i.e. ‘Beggars Can Be Choosers’ but more preferably, ‘The Devil who came to Dinner.)

Running time: Approx 40 minutes.

NB: Please don’t be fooled into allowing the silences/beats marked to become ponderous breaks in the action or allow them to affect the pace. That is not their purpose. They are simply to underline a moment, be a nuance and nothing more.

The image used is licensed and purchased from CrushPixel

Artwork by Victoria Mironenko